Cock Faux Pas
Why is it, that because I happen to communicate with people in BDSM themed websites (where I am a member), that males immediately take for granted that My main topic of conversation will want to be about a cock, and particularly their cock? My motive for having a profile on such websites is to get to know like minded individuals, whether Dominant or submissive, and share thoughts and ideas with them. In My view, these sites are no different to forming friendships with people on equivalent "vanilla" websites.
So when I start communicating with someone I have never met before, I find it extraordinary that the subject of "cock/s" should arise (excuse the pun) by the third message, which is barely enough time to even scratch the surface in terms of getting to know the person's mind. In one way this does not surprise Me - I mean, what else do most males think with! Don't get Me wrong, I have no issue with cocks per se, My problem is that I am communicatiing with someone I do not know and why do they think that I would be more interested in a conversation about a cock over anything else???? That is not the objective of My communication. A cock has its place, however I much prefer to get to know the MIND of the person and not what they can do with their cock, or what their cock looks like, or how big it is. That is the LEAST important aspect of their being yet it is often the main focal point of many males, as if their whole personality lies within their appendage.
It seems that just because I am communicating in a BDSM themed website, most people assume (and wrongly so in My case), that by being a female, the only thing I am primarily interested in is their penis! I don't see a kinky friendship being any differernt to a vanilla one - you get to know the person for themselves and the rest follows later if that is appropriate for that friendship/relationship. If you are after a one night stand, then obviously the subject of sex (and its relevant bits), will become a higher priority early on in the conversation as there are limited hours available to you.
My advice to those males who have done exactly what I have described, remember one of My favourite quotes: "To assume is to be deceived." And how true that is! If you are not sure, ASK to find out what is acceptable to the person you are communicating with. A BDSM themed website does not give you license to disregard basic communication protocol UNLESS you already know the person well.
So when I start communicating with someone I have never met before, I find it extraordinary that the subject of "cock/s" should arise (excuse the pun) by the third message, which is barely enough time to even scratch the surface in terms of getting to know the person's mind. In one way this does not surprise Me - I mean, what else do most males think with! Don't get Me wrong, I have no issue with cocks per se, My problem is that I am communicatiing with someone I do not know and why do they think that I would be more interested in a conversation about a cock over anything else???? That is not the objective of My communication. A cock has its place, however I much prefer to get to know the MIND of the person and not what they can do with their cock, or what their cock looks like, or how big it is. That is the LEAST important aspect of their being yet it is often the main focal point of many males, as if their whole personality lies within their appendage.
It seems that just because I am communicating in a BDSM themed website, most people assume (and wrongly so in My case), that by being a female, the only thing I am primarily interested in is their penis! I don't see a kinky friendship being any differernt to a vanilla one - you get to know the person for themselves and the rest follows later if that is appropriate for that friendship/relationship. If you are after a one night stand, then obviously the subject of sex (and its relevant bits), will become a higher priority early on in the conversation as there are limited hours available to you.
My advice to those males who have done exactly what I have described, remember one of My favourite quotes: "To assume is to be deceived." And how true that is! If you are not sure, ASK to find out what is acceptable to the person you are communicating with. A BDSM themed website does not give you license to disregard basic communication protocol UNLESS you already know the person well.
Posted by Mistress Adira at Friday, November 28, 2008 1:35 PM 
Categories: Pet Peeves, Food for Thought
Categories: Pet Peeves, Food for Thought
Hi Mistress Adira,
i have a similar problem, as a submissive female males seem to automatically think that means i want to have sex with them. Sometimes they don't even say hello before they launch into the "you want to have sex with me" routine. They are soooo wrong!!
But worse are the ones who have cock pics as their icon!! *shudder*
Cheers,
mira
Hello mira,
you are correct. Why a male would think that it is more important to have a photo of his cock rather than his face, is beyond Me.
"The eyes are the mirror of the soul" and THAT is what I need to see in a photo when meeting new people.
Mistress Adira
Or, as we sometimes say here in England, and attempting to be in tune with the thread raised by Mistress Adira: assumption is the mother of all c**k-ups !
And, for what its worth, these people also irk the decent males amongst us as they give us all a bad name.